Emotion Coaching

Children are little adults with big feelings. Sometimes they cannot express appropriately how they are feeling. This can leave them quite frustrated and resort to some big behavioral problems. What works best to deal with these behaviors and problems starts with being able to understand and validate what are children are going through. This process is called emotion coaching. 

Emotion coaching is a parenting style developed by Dr. John Gottman in which parents help their children to work through their emotions. This includes empathizing, validating, and labeling emotions in order for children to manage their responses.
Here a wonderful video that explains exactly what emotion coaching is:

Source:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0vj9Z4kpEk

Here are some benefits that I have found from emotion coaching:

• It nurtures our children by helping them to grow and develop their emotional regulations and help them to express themselves.
• It fosters love as the parents turn their hearts to empathize with the child and help the child to express their feelings without being judged.
• Emotion coaching foster respect because both parent and child are learning to communicate in a kind way.
• Heightened awareness of their child's emotion and increased ability to handle it. 

The shift in parenting can be hard at first especially if we come from a family that had no type of emotional supports. The first thing that we must realize is that we want our children to be able to understand and express their emotions. The most resilient of children have a strong connection to who they are and what they are feeling. This type of understanding brings so much power into their lives. 

Consider ways in which you can help your children to know their feelings, to not be ashamed of them. Parents can understand that "All feelings are acceptable. All wishes are acceptable. Not all actions and behaviors are acceptable." (Gottman, 2014)

Here are some helpful tips for emotion coaching:

Source: https://nurtureandthriveblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/emotion-coaching-phrases-for-parents.jpg

References:

Gottman, John. [The Gottman Institute]. (2014, May 17). Emotion Coaching: The Heart of Parenting. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0vj9Z4kpEk.

Nurtureandthriveblog. (2018, March 15). emotion coaching phrases for parents. Retrieved February 17, 2020, from https://nurtureandthriveblog.com/what-to-say-when-your-child-is-upset/emotion-coaching-phrases-for-parents/